Choices


    Choices, they surround me, twisting, winding, caressing, choking. So many choices, so little time. Where will life take me next, fame and fortune or happiness and sanity? Why do these paths stare me down and mock me?

    A dark forest surrounds me, envelopes me. I glare at it with hate and desire, knowing full well that my fate lies within its hidden trails. My eyes try desperately to see the design of the trails in front of me, trying to see where they lead. Slowly my eyes move tracing the wind of the dirt in front of me, and the foliage that sits calmly, chaotically at its edge.

    The path twists right, then left before breaking into three separate trails, none of which look to have been used recently. As my eyes draw and caress the lines, I am continually drawn to peering at the one on the right, as if it's calling me, taunting me.

    Several precious minutes pass as I try to see the future and all its possible options. Tick toc, tick toc... and then I awaken. Like a switch being thrown, my choice is made, the third path, the one that's been calling me. That is the path I must take.

    My leg shakes a little as I take my first step towards my future. Then as suddenly as the shaking began, it stops, as my foot hits dirt. I'm off! Step followed by well timed and strongly balanced step. I fall forward in controlled movements, trying to gain more and more speed.

    This must be the right way, why else would it call to me? Yet, somewhere in the back of my mind there's a scream that becomes a pleading. As if it knows that the choice will only lead to pain, but it's too late, the choice is made and I must continue on.

    Wind blows back my hair and branches sting my face, yet I refuse to slow. Pain is a temporary thing. It will pass, it MUST pass. I drive on, further into the forest.

    A snap of a branch whips me out of my thoughts, and I dive into the bushes. My eyes dart into the darkest corners of the foliage around me, seeking my prey. So the path was right, soon I shall find the hunt and glory will be mine.

    I feel my body freeze in place, muscles pressing against muscles, power and motion in stillness. As back presses against chest and abs against legs, my ears relax and open to the world, hunting for any sign of another. My vision glazes over and expands, looking only for motion, and not for detail, as I start filtering out the rustle leaves in the wind.

    An eternity passes. I must keep completely still, no moving, no looking, no breathing. I must make it feel secure. "there is no threat, it's ok to move", I call out with my mind. My heart beats at a steady but loud pace. Deliberately I slow it, calm it, long steady beats. Relax it so it can beat quickly once it's needed.

    Still, no movement, no other sign of life. A slight fear creeps into my mind. What if my prey found me? Then I would be the prey. No glory. No wealth. Just death. My heart skips a beat, but I force it back into calm conformity. My path is chosen, I know my place, I know my abilities. I am the hunter, and it is the prey.

    My muscles begin to tremble, too much pressure, not enough release. Perhaps I have waited too long, perhaps it has gotten away. No! The prey, the goal will not escape. That is not how this path should play out. Then I see a glint of gold. My eyes lock on and I dart out after it.

    Blood rushes to my limbs and a shear ecstasy fills my body as it does what it was made to do, what it knows how to do.

    It tears down the path at speeds unknown, but I will not let it escape. I push harder. My heart thumps, beats, ever stronger, ever louder. Muscles expand and contract pushing against bone and dirt. Soon I'll catch it, I tell myself, soon it will be mine!

    My senses go wild. My eyes dart back and forth across the pass, looking for an advantage, but never loosing sight of the target. Dirt sprays behind me, acknowledgement of my speed, it's sound as it hits the leaves, a joyous triumph of music. I know the competition is won, the reward is mine. I ready myself to use all of my energy for a pounce to capture it.

    My muscles tense...

    ...and then release as I swipe at the target. I miss. I stumble, and it's gone.

    "The swipe was perfect. I couldn't have missed. Where did it get that burst of speed?"

    Panting hard, trying to catch my breath, I collapse to the ground. Precious seconds pass. Until finally I get up and continue down the path. My heart is a little lower than it was before, but I still somehow know that the treasure will be mine.

    I build up speed, as I continue down the path. It must be here somewhere. And then I come across a split, a divergence where three paths broanch out from one. Choices surround me. I stare at the dark paths trying to decide impartially, calmly, but the one on the right seems to be calling me, tearing out my very soul.